I am taking a soccer class. And while my teacher is very nice, he is crazy. That is the best word to describe him. He likes to talk a lot, so we spend a lot of our fifty minutes of class listening to him talk about the Old Spice commercial, and some kid's ring tone. Most of the time I'm able to tune him out.
Except I can't tune him out when he's giving me my own set of rules.
You see, today I played a bum pass. So he told me that, from that day onward, I was only allowed to pass to him, or to the kid, Said, behind me. Notice, behind me. If I cannot even manage to complete a completely uncomplicated pass, how does he expect me to back heel the ball to a kid who is behind me... and always manages never to be open.
As I lingered on these rules (I made sure no one passed to me, because what could I do with the ball?) my brain recalled a few other gems that he has offered to me.
The Rules: a customization.
- Stay wide, so that the ball doesn't roll out of bounds
- Come in. You can't play when you are that wide.
- Dribble the ball!
- Don't dribble! Pass it to that guy who can!
- Hustle kid!
- Don't run! We're playing at half-speed
- Stay in between Caleb and the ball!
- Why are you hanging on Caleb? Are you dating?
- Come on! Play better!
- You looked like a Brazilian out there!
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